You’re Doing Self-Care Wrong
“I’m great at self-care! I watch TV and get Taco Bell.”
One of the biggest misconceptions I see people make is to treat self-care and relaxation as the same thing. Self-Care and Relaxation are VERY different.
Relaxation is about temporary pleasure OR temporary numbing of your mind and body.
Self-care is taking care of yourself physically and mentally.
Self-Care:
Go for a walk
Go to the gym
Practice guitar
Learn a new recipe
Call a friend
Learn a new language
Write in your journal
Relaxation:
Take a nap
Watch TV
Play video games
Go to a new restaurant
Scroll instagram
Read the news
Stare into the abyss
Let’s say you only did relaxation for a month. Would you feel better or worse ?
I assume worse. Because no one is going to feel better after watching 18 seasons of The Walking Dead and only eating tacos.
How would you would feel after doing a month of self-care? Exercising daily, journaling, practicing an instrument, and reconnecting with old friends.
Probably pretty great.
Now let me be the first to state the obvious- Self-care is not supposed to be easy. Self-care is supposed to be effortful. But the purpose of self-care isn’t to feel good while you’re doing it. It’s to feel good after you’ve done it.
Everyone feels better after doing exercise. Everyone feels better after calling a friend. Everyone feels better after working towards a personal goal.
No one feels better after binge watching a TV show. No one feels better after drinking an entire bottle of wine (at least not once they sober up). And no one feels better after stuffing themselves with junk food.
I know that after a long day, you don’t want to do something as effortful as self-care. So start small.
Do 15 minutes of self-care and then do your usual relaxation afterwards. You’ll be amazed that the more self-care you do, the less relaxation you need.
Take the First Step
It’s hard to reach out, I get it… But you know what is even harder than reaching out? Staying the same.
So take a chance and schedule an appointment- let’s work together to make your goals a reality.
